Is Being a Perfectionist a Weakness?

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A few days ago, I learned an intriguing topic from Generasi GIGIH 2.0 by Yayasan Anak Bangsa Bisa & GoTo program; how to provide and receive constructive feedback.

So, what is constructive feedback?

Constructive feedback allows us to grow as a person because it helps us identify solutions to areas of weakness we may have. Therefore, it comes with positive intentions to address specific issues or concerns.

But, naturally, receiving feedback is not easy because sometimes we tend not to accept the feedback from others and think that we know ourselves better.

Back then, I couldn’t differentiate between feedback and criticism because I thought that feedback was equal to criticism, and it’s somewhat complicated for me to accept any of that. But, my parents always taught me that feedback and criticism are different, and I need to learn how to receive feedback to be the best version of myself.

Each one of us must have received at least one piece of feedback. I also have received feedback from my parents, and I think I can say that it is one of the most memorable feedback for me because it changed me a lot.

So, here’s my story about receiving feedback!

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“What is my biggest weakness?”

When I asked that question, an answer that always popped into my head was being a perfectionist. Why being a perfectionist a weakness for me? Wouldn’t it can be one of my strengths?

On the surface, being a perfectionist seems perfect, but being a perfectionist is a complex thing. Sometimes I can proudly say that I am a perfectionist because I can strive to produce excellent work, have a keen eye for detail, and have higher motivation levels. However, being a perfectionist is also more likely to set rigid and excessively high standards and critically evaluate my behavior.

Even though my parents always taught me that being a perfectionist is not always good, and I have to stop that because it can lead me to enormous stress later.

But, trust me, stopping one hundred percent from being a perfectionist is not an easy thing, and it requires a lot of effort, but it’s a must for you to try that if you think you are too overly perfectionist.

One of the turning points that stopped me from being a perfectionist was when I was at the lowest point of my life when I couldn’t achieve one of my goals as a high schooler.

You might already know what my goal is.

Yap, I am not accepted into one of my dream majors. Why I said major, not a university because I am already at the point, I want that one major, and I don’t care what the university is as long as I can study in that major. You can say that I am hopeless and can’t accept reality, but that was me in high school.

Why does it have to be me?

Why is reality this harsh to me?

Why can’t I be like others?

There are so many questions, and mainly I blame myself and think that I am not trying my best before.

In the end, I build this wall of pain, this cave of misery, that I grief and suffer each day.

One day, my parents told me that I had already done my best and said that no matter how perfect or how hard I do to achieve my goals, if it is not mean for me, it will not be mine, and I need to accept that.

When I heard that, finally, I could accept the fact that I couldn’t study in that major, and I had to find another major that might suit me the best and can bring me a brighter future.

Fortunately, I got accepted into one of the universities in Indonesia, and I tried changing my mindset that I just need to do my best– not doing it perfectly.

Doing my best and doing it perfectly for me is different because when I had to do it perfectly, then I can’t make even a slight mistake. But, when I am doing my best, I can do it based on my capability; also, I can be happier with whatever the result is.

Lastly, I just want to say please try to accept your flaw so that you can be happier later.

“Perfection is found in accepting your imperfection”

— Bridgett Devoue

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